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Top of Page
Swingers Tips and Advice for getting started
There are two primary stages in
Swinging: In the first, the curiosity
stage, the couple learns how to behave and swing with others. While many females
are rather reluctant to get involved in swinging, once they do, they accept
initial experiences more successfully than males. Women are generally either
enthusiastic converts or completely turned off by the experience. Generally,
swingers are relatively no selective when they first become involved. Following
the curiosity stage, there is relative selectivity, characterized by increasing
individuation of self and others.
In the individuation process of the second stage, a woman becomes
selective because she no longer needs to prove she is desired or can satisfy
other men.
In order to make the experience meaningful, she arrives at a point
where she feels that she must refuse the advances of many men. She learns to
define her preferences more clearly and to learn to act on these preferences.
This is an experience that many women never have because they rely on their
husbands to make decisions in social situations. In short a woman learns to
individuate both herself and others in the second stage of swinging.
Men, similarly, learn from
swinging.
Once a swinger realizes that his physical responses may very well
be due to elements that inhere to the individual relationship rather than to
innate sexual inadequacy, he has arrived at a very different conception of
sexual relationships. He is better able to see women as human beings to whom
he may be attracted and as personalities rather than as objects to be
exploited for their sexual potential. In our terms, he can now more
successfully individuate relationships with women.
Swinging ordinarily does not result in
jealousy or marital break-ups, it may succeed in solidifying marriages by re
romanticizing them and thereby making them tolerable and perhaps even
enjoyable.
Swinger Tips and Advice Page Two >
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